Tuesday, December 29, 2009
My regular reader friend: How long have you been a follower of Flea Snobbery? Have you seen every cartoon in it? And you, occasional visitor: Do you know what this is all about? After drawing about 150 cartoons over a year and a half, this amateur cartoonist has decided to call this 2009 a year a couple days earlier. I'm sorry if I leave the archive as your only means to avert the holiday ennui. But that needs not be bad news! If you enjoy this things I manage to drop in the Internet twice a week, make use of this time to discover some you might not know, or re-discover some you perhaps forgot. Happy New Year! See you in 2010!
Friday, December 25, 2009
"Why did you think you needed material riches to worship me? Didn't I make gold and mud alike? Aren't they worth the same for being both my creation?"
"O, Eternal Father! Forgive this poor fool!"
"How could you build for me a temple of ordinary brick? Didn't I create precious materials for a reason? Don't I deserve the best you can give to me?"
"I'm sorry, Lord... I'm sorry..."
"Ha ha ha! I could spend the whole eternity like this."
"Must we postpone the end of the world again, boss?"
"Huh? Oh yes! I want at least a couple more generations of this."
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
Friday, December 18, 2009
"Eighty percent of people polled think the government is deliberately sabotaging the educational system to keep future generations ignorant and easy to manipulate—"
"You see, sir, the ludicrous lies the media keep churning out about us."
"Indeed! Since when do we care about future generations?"
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
Friday, December 11, 2009
"Are you sure that omnidetector of yours is advanced technology? It doesn't look like it."
"Of course! Do you know Clarke's Third Law? "Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic."
"Well, magic doesn't work, and neither does my omnidetector! It's totally advanced!"
"Awesome! I'll take ten!"
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
Friday, November 27, 2009
"My religion compels me to worship God. Law, on the other hand, states that I have the freedom to do so. That implies that I am also free to not do so. That is to say that, legally, worship is not a duty, but only a right. The law is imposing something on me that outright contradicts my beliefs! Therefore... FREEDOM OF RELIGION CURTAILS FREEDOM OF RELIGION!"
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
"Doctor Anthony Schiavoni analyzed this dish soap ad and found over thirty hidden erotic images."
"Interesting. Is there any published study?"
"I have it right here."
PATHOLOGICAL SEXUAL OBSESSIONS OF ANTHONY SCHIAVONI, Ph.D.: A Case Study
Friday, November 20, 2009
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
According to Levinthal and March (1993), few firms are successful at simultaneously developing both radical and incremental knowledge, primarily due to limited resources within the firm. Explicitly focusing on either exploration or exploitation as a means of enhancing the knowledge base generally implies not focusing on the other approach. As researchers (e.g., Hedlund, 1994; Schildt, Maula, & Keil, 2005; Volberda, 1996) have pointed out, focusing on radically new knowledge and focusing on incrementally enhancing a current knowledge base often require very different types of organizational cultures, capabilities, and structures…
"Welcome aboard! We are pleased to have someone with your academic credentials working for us."
"Every new employee is asked to read this book. Please read it."
Once, long ago in a land far away, there lived four little characters who ran through a Maze looking for cheese to nourish them and make them happy.
Two were mice, named “Sniff” and “Scurry”, and two were Littlepeople — beings who were as small as mice but who looked and acted a lot like people today. Their names were “Hem“ and “Haw.“
"My education didn't prepare me for this."
Friday, November 13, 2009
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
Friday, November 6, 2009
"Ok, darling, let me tell you a little something. I understand what you're telling me about "evidence" and "scientific method". What I know, however, is that teachings of Guru Sanalachankla about the universe and the self have made me a very serene person and filled me with spiritual peace. And someone who doesn't know the first thing about them won't tell me won't tell me that tye are wrong! IS THAT CLEAR?"
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
"General, one of our spy drones went down near a populated area. We sent a recovery team, but there are witnesses and I am afraid the secrecy of the operation has been compromised."
"Don't worry. Everything is under control."
"It it wasn't a UFO crash, why did the military intervene? Why did they take the remains away before anyone could take a look at them? They're depriving us from the answer to the greatest enigma in history!"
"He's good. How much are we paying him?"
"Nothing. He doesn't even know he works for us."
Friday, October 30, 2009
"Can you believe how rude that atheist is? He compared my Lord Jesus Christ to the silly superstitions of the New Age."
"Yeah! When he talked to me he likened my worship of Nature to the patriarchal oppressive cult that is Christianity."
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
Friday, October 23, 2009
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
"Look at it rise! Awesome!"
"Are you sure this is a good time to pull the rope?"
"Of course it is! Can't you see it rising? It's the best time for it!"
"Look! The fat guy dropped the rope!"
"Oh, no! The fat guy knows what he does! It must be about to fall! Drop it! Drop it before it drags you up!"
"The fat guy was right! See how it's falling!"
"Phew! We dropped the rope just on time. It could have dra—"
"... and that, my son, is how bull and bear market works. Do you understand?"
"That's my boy!"
Friday, October 16, 2009
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Tuesday, October 13, 2009
"Have you ever seen an alien spacecraft?"
"Have you ever seen an unidentified flying object?"
"Have you ever seen strange lights in the sky?"
"Have you ever seen anything unusual when looking up?"
"People who have had a sighting experience"
"How can skeptics keep doubting the reality of alien visits in the face of the testimony of so many eyewitnesses?"
Friday, October 9, 2009
"Renowned top model Michelle Libonatti staged a naked protest against Japanese whaling this afternoon."
"We want to work here. For free if necessary!"
"It's up to us to make sure the protests go on!"
Tuesday, October 6, 2009
Friday, October 2, 2009
Friday, September 25, 2009
This had been happening for some time now. No, some more time.
"Our educational policy is backfiring, Your Excellency!"
"Explain yourself, mister Secretary."
"Too many people are illiterate and can't read our corrected and expurgated history books."
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
Friday, September 18, 2009
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
Friday, September 11, 2009
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
Friday, September 4, 2009
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
Friday, August 28, 2009
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
"Literacy rates are at a historic low. More and more children are unschooled every year. This situation is not compatible with democracy, mister president!"
"... therefore, I have appointed myself supreme dictator for life, as this regime is better suited to our educational system."
Friday, August 21, 2009
"He who has no material possessions longs for them. He who walks wants a car. He who rents dreams of owning his home. By surrounding myself with luxury and riches, I free my soul from those earthly preoccupations and can focus on my spiritual growth."
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
"Your astrological survey is ready, my dear! Venus tells me that you suffered from unrequited love when you were a young girl, but eventually you got over it. You're not totally happy with your job, but it gives you great satisfaction sometimes. You have some hidden talents many people know nothing abou—"
"Hey, you're telling me a lot of vague things that could be said of anyone. There's nothing specific about me!"
"Oh... Well... Well, how do you expect planets to be able to tell people apart from as far away as they are? Come on, my dear, let's be serious here!"
Friday, August 14, 2009
You can stop being held hostage by the food barons!
Did you know that food is a multi-billion industry for the benefit of a few people?
Did you know that it is these few people who keep in place the outdated materialistic paradigm of food as a mere bunch of proteins, vitamins and carbohydrates?
Did you know that it is in this poweful lobby’s interest that the world hunger problem is never solved to keep a market for their products?
Break the shackles!
Try now the Alternative Foods of Doctor Randolph™!
The Alternative Foods* of Doctor Randolph** have been created to satisfy the nutritional requirements of the body, the mind and the spirit.
Quantum Talc Powder
No fats! No cholesterol!
No chemical preservatives!
* The Alternative Foods of Doctor Randolph must be in no way taken for a substitute for regular nourishment as they are meant only as a complement thereof.
** The word “doctor” is used for illustrative purposes only.
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
"Woman condemned to death for adultery in Saudi Arabia. Human rights groups try to stop the execution."
"You can say that again! Who do these groups think they are to impose their values on another culture?"
"It's sickeningly imperialistic."
Friday, August 7, 2009
"How can you be so stubborn? It's quantum physics that says we create our own reality with our thoughts. It's a scientific fact!"
"In that case, why do you bother trying to convince me? Just create a reality where I believe you."
"Bu— but... It doesn't work that way!"
"Well, create a reality where it does work that way."
"Bah! You're impossible!"
"Have you arrived to a reality where you can't hear me yet?"
Tuesday, August 4, 2009
Contents: dogma, arbitrary doctrine, tradition, ritual, excipient (fluff).
Symptomatic treatment for cases of depression, existential anguish, crippling terror of death, despair, chronic amorality, extreme curiosity in children.
According to dosage and form of administration: sedative, euphorizing, antidepressant, social cohesive, contraceptive.
POSSIBLE SIDE EFFECTS
Addiction, hallucinations, sloppy thinking, superiority complex, emotional hypersensitivity, bouts of rage, suicidal tendencies, loss of will, loss of personal identity, loss of assets.
Not recommended for psychiatric patients.
Friday, July 31, 2009
"Huh? Are you really voting for this guy?"
"He's a successful businessman. If he runs the country as he manages his companies, we'll really pull through."
"These are hard times and sacrifices must be made if our nation is to weather this crisis. Thirty percent of the population will be laid off by the end of the month."
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
"Good heavens! Who designed this? No safeguards... No redundancies... If a part were to fail, the entire system would fail in cascade!"
"Look, I'm sure that, as an engineer, you know quite a deal about gadgets, but you're obviously clueless about this. The manual says it never fails and that's it!"
FREE MARKET ECONOMY
Friday, July 24, 2009
"How do you like this fair and balanced Tetris I programmed?"
"So, what's fair and balanced about it?"
"Look and you'll see"
Congratulations! You don't need to try and fit this piece because it's doubtlessly compatible.
"Hey! That's cheating!"
"It's a perfectly valid alternative way of puzzle solving. Bigot!"
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
On July 20th, 1969, the whole world saw Neil Armstrong and Edwin Aldrin walking on the Moon.
Only a few, however, know that they were not alone.
All these years, NASA has jealously kept that information under wraps.
"S... O... S... Crewman... stranded... Send... help...
"I can't wait to lay hands on that pair of jokers."
Friday, July 17, 2009
"Ok, atheist guy, explain this. If the earth were closer to the sun, it would get scorched. If it were farther from the sun, it would freeze. It is, however, at the right distance for life to exist. So, tell me: who put the planet in this ideal place? Who did it, eh? Who?"
"That I'd like to know! Who put that planet there? We were supposed to need a sterile universe for this experiment!"
"I'm sorry, professor, but... There are billions and billions of planets to control, and I don't have any help!"
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
Friday, July 10, 2009
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
"Still sick? Didn't you see the naturopath I talked to you about?"
"I did. He gave a prescription and told me that, if it didn't cure me, at least it wouldn't harm me."
"So? What happened?"
"He got upset when I replied that, if I didn't pay to him, at least I wouldn't ask him money."
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Friday, June 26, 2009
"Our Father, who art in Heaven, hallowed be Thy Name..."
"Thank you, Lord, for reminding us that you don't forsake us..."
"The visual recognition module needs some tweaking."
"Impossible. The project has already run over budget."
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
"Doctor, is it true that your therapy totally eliminates stress?"
"Oh, yes! I used to be constantly stressed because time and money were never enough. But ever since I created this therapy, I live very well seeing only three patients a day. It has worked wonderfully for me!"